Breastfeeding through AVSDThe journey of my daughter and me: a journey of breastfeeding that helped save my daughter’s life.
It started, whilst pregnant, vaguely stating that I would probably breastfeed, but IF my daughter didn’t take to it immediately, I wasn’t going to force my way and would go straight to the bottle… Little did I actually realize that I had however the unconditional support of my husband and a very special lady (often referred to as our breastfeeding guru) who helped me with the preparations for birth through hypnobirthing (I must admit whilst in labour I opted for a ‘mix’ of hypnobirthing breathing techniques and an epidural and loads of ‘shots’!) and after giving birth, at least once a week in the first weeks, with breastfeeding. |
She counseled me through the initial weeks and beyond, empowered me in the most amazing way by making me belief in myself! This was really needed as I encountered an environment that was not as pro-breastfeeding as I thought. As soon as something was out of order all the fingers pointed straight to breastfeeding and how important it was to change to the bottle, this included the various doctors we saw and even a midwife consultation I had.
During the first 7 months of my daughter’s life I experienced quite disheartening moments varying from 1) sitting alone upstairs with my daughter because guests’ preferred not to be confronted by Breastfeeding, 2)fighting with a bf cover that made my daughter sweat and panic, 3) sitting in dark rooms with straws taped to my nipples to add bottled milk to feeding session without forcing a bottle (as my daughter refused the bottle point blank) ,and 4) having to fight for my right to breastfeed without ‘endangering’ my daughter’s life. You see we were in quite a predicament. My daughter wasn’t gaining any weight since her 4th month and even though we saw the dr. every two weeks the reason for her failure to thrive was always directly or indirectly related to the fact that I was breastfeeding her….at 4 months we started with adding food…this went on and on…trying the bottle again in the hope she would gain weight……all to no avail…the harrowing 5kg couldn’t be reached. I knew it wasn’t the breastfeeding, my husband knew it…but what was it?
In her 7th month after so many dr. visits we were referred to a heart specialist and received the hardest news we have ever had to deal with. Our daughter ‘s heart wasn’t working the way it should, the inside was missing: she had Complete AVSD and she was already in heart failure and the pressure in her lungs where sky high……..yes as we listened to that news on the 13th of December 2014 our world crumbled. All of a sudden we had our daughter slowly but surely dying in our arms….through a miracle we were put into contact with a surgeon that could and would operate such a complicated case. Three days after receiving the news we jumped on the plane to Singapore (fleeing the country as her condition was so bad she actually would not have been allowed to fly had she been assessed!) With a dying baby we arrived in Singapore to learn that her operation was scheduled on the 25th of December, but as it happened the dr. put the operation forward as she wouldn’t have survived till then…. 24th of December Christmas day my daughter was reborn.
All the while I breastfed my baby, it calmed her, it nourished her and it was the only place she was as stress free as she could be. In the first seven months of her life I had her 20 out of 24 hours in my arms (and sling). The doctor assessed her whilst I was breastfeeding her, needles were poked in her while she was on my breast and she didn’t panic. During her 16 days in ICU I pumped milk, and it was the ONLY milk that was good for her as the bottled milk compared to breast milk had more proteins and (forgive my lack of knowledge and don’t pin me on the accuracy of it) that had to be as minimal as possible as she was fighting her way back to Life (the first 10 days the machines did it all) Even the doctors were surprised to learn, after they suggested I should buy some bottled milk, that breast milk was the best. We had a good laugh about it actually! I was witness to the fact that The Dream Team of Pediatric Cardio-Surgeon, Pediatric Cardiologist and Pediatric Anesthetist learned at that specific moment in the ICU (as they were actually researching and discussing which milk was best) that Breast Milk was simply the best option!
As my daughter grew stronger I couldn’t keep up with production! I was exhausted and needed support and happily added bottled milk to her diet combining the two! As I mentioned before I was never ‘against’ bottled milk! After 16 days I was allowed to carry her for the first time and our journey of breastfeeding (now combined with the bottle) continued ….for the next 13 months…….contrary to what was said ‘ you can’t combine the two’ I did, and we both loved it. I saw a daughter that was comforted by my breast and content with a full belly after the bottle. Worried about the trauma she may have had I could give her my arms, heartbeat and warmth.
During the first 7 months of my daughter’s life I experienced quite disheartening moments varying from 1) sitting alone upstairs with my daughter because guests’ preferred not to be confronted by Breastfeeding, 2)fighting with a bf cover that made my daughter sweat and panic, 3) sitting in dark rooms with straws taped to my nipples to add bottled milk to feeding session without forcing a bottle (as my daughter refused the bottle point blank) ,and 4) having to fight for my right to breastfeed without ‘endangering’ my daughter’s life. You see we were in quite a predicament. My daughter wasn’t gaining any weight since her 4th month and even though we saw the dr. every two weeks the reason for her failure to thrive was always directly or indirectly related to the fact that I was breastfeeding her….at 4 months we started with adding food…this went on and on…trying the bottle again in the hope she would gain weight……all to no avail…the harrowing 5kg couldn’t be reached. I knew it wasn’t the breastfeeding, my husband knew it…but what was it?
In her 7th month after so many dr. visits we were referred to a heart specialist and received the hardest news we have ever had to deal with. Our daughter ‘s heart wasn’t working the way it should, the inside was missing: she had Complete AVSD and she was already in heart failure and the pressure in her lungs where sky high……..yes as we listened to that news on the 13th of December 2014 our world crumbled. All of a sudden we had our daughter slowly but surely dying in our arms….through a miracle we were put into contact with a surgeon that could and would operate such a complicated case. Three days after receiving the news we jumped on the plane to Singapore (fleeing the country as her condition was so bad she actually would not have been allowed to fly had she been assessed!) With a dying baby we arrived in Singapore to learn that her operation was scheduled on the 25th of December, but as it happened the dr. put the operation forward as she wouldn’t have survived till then…. 24th of December Christmas day my daughter was reborn.
All the while I breastfed my baby, it calmed her, it nourished her and it was the only place she was as stress free as she could be. In the first seven months of her life I had her 20 out of 24 hours in my arms (and sling). The doctor assessed her whilst I was breastfeeding her, needles were poked in her while she was on my breast and she didn’t panic. During her 16 days in ICU I pumped milk, and it was the ONLY milk that was good for her as the bottled milk compared to breast milk had more proteins and (forgive my lack of knowledge and don’t pin me on the accuracy of it) that had to be as minimal as possible as she was fighting her way back to Life (the first 10 days the machines did it all) Even the doctors were surprised to learn, after they suggested I should buy some bottled milk, that breast milk was the best. We had a good laugh about it actually! I was witness to the fact that The Dream Team of Pediatric Cardio-Surgeon, Pediatric Cardiologist and Pediatric Anesthetist learned at that specific moment in the ICU (as they were actually researching and discussing which milk was best) that Breast Milk was simply the best option!
As my daughter grew stronger I couldn’t keep up with production! I was exhausted and needed support and happily added bottled milk to her diet combining the two! As I mentioned before I was never ‘against’ bottled milk! After 16 days I was allowed to carry her for the first time and our journey of breastfeeding (now combined with the bottle) continued ….for the next 13 months…….contrary to what was said ‘ you can’t combine the two’ I did, and we both loved it. I saw a daughter that was comforted by my breast and content with a full belly after the bottle. Worried about the trauma she may have had I could give her my arms, heartbeat and warmth.
Breastfeeding helped me turn the essential body contact & comforting into a natural rhythm. A precious journey, a gift that I was given, a gift I had to fight for, a gift I kept and all in all the most precious gift I have ever received. My breasts kept my daughter alive during all the months nobody knew what was wrong with her, my milk kept her fed and healthy during her fight for life and during recovery. Our journey ended when I couldn’t comfort my daughter by breastfeeding anymore. That was the turning point, at 20 months old she had grown more independent and she was ready for a different kind of comforting. This journey has been a profound experience.